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Holding Space and Showing Grace: The Art of Growing Great Humans

The View - Apr 04, 2025

Picture this: you’re in the supermarket, and a toddler is mid-meltdown in aisle three; feet stomping, can throwing and ear-piercing screams overwhelm your senses. You instinctively turn your head and see their parent looking like they’ve survived a minor cyclone, doing their best to calm the storm. Your eyes lock. Then you quickly look away. You know exactly how they must be feeling whilst also feeling helpless yourself. If you’ve ever been that parent, you know the weight of judgment felt, and you know the default reaction to try and take control and fix it. But this moment isn’t about fixing. This moment isn’t about control. It’s about holding space. 

As adults, our job isn’t to make life easy for children; it’s to make it safe. Safe to feel, safe to fail, safe to grow and safe to learn. Healthy connections and strong attachments are the soil in which children flourish. The research is clear: kids who feel seen, heard, and valued develop confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Long before psychologists confirmed this, Jesus showed us the same truth. 

Jesus didn’t just teach people. He walked with them, listened before he corrected, and loved before he led. He created space for transformation to happen. His words in Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come to me,” were not just about access but about acceptance. He made children feel safe in his presence. We too are called to do the same. 

So, how do we, as parents and educators, reflect this in the everyday chaos of school and life? It starts with three simple (but not always easy) things:

  • Connection before correction: A child acting out is not a child who is bad to the core but a child trying to communicate. Before we rush to discipline, we should pause to understand. When kids feel connected, they are far more likely to listen, learn, and lean in.
  • Boundaries with belonging: Love is not limitless indulgence; it is firm but fair. God’s love for us comes with guidance, and our love for children should do the same. Clear expectations combined with deep connection create the sweet spot for growth.
  • Grace, over and over again: Just as God extends grace to us more times than we can count, our children need grace too. They will stumble, test limits, and sometimes push every button we have. Yet every mistake is a learning moment wrapped in potential.

Holding space isn’t about having all the answers. It is about showing up, staying present, and reminding our children through words and actions that they are deeply loved. And just maybe, in doing so, we reflect a little of Christ’s love in their lives too.

Hold space, show grace… again and again and again.

Mr Michael Hosken
Assistant Head of Primary

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119 Avondale Rd, Cooranbong NSW 2265, Australia

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